Part of the reason you feel so stressed, tired, and possibly, resentful, is that you're carrying the bulk of the mental load.
But, there's hope. It doesn't have to stay this way. The Mother Load will help you and your partner unite to tackle the mental load together and offer proven tips and strategies to minimize conflict, resentment and feelings of inequity around the mental load.
A message from Dr. Cutlip
What is the mental load?
The mental load, sometimes referred to as invisible or emotional labor, is the running list of all the to-dos that you manage in your life, home, work, relationships, and those who are dependent on you.
Things like:
- Researching: Does this shampoo cause cancer? Can I bring scooters to the airport? What preschools get good ratings?
- Organizing: Activities, social calendars, summer camps.
- Managing the Home: Are we out of q-tips? What’s for dinner? Shoot, I need to go to the grocery store. Why don’t the kids have any shoes that fit? Crap, no clean undies.
- Managing the Emotional Needs of the Family: “Who needs hugs? Our oldest is being bossy, we need to do something about that, but don’t crush her spirit. How to make sure the kids are strong, but kind, and assertive with boundaries , yes boundaries are important, and I must hold space for their emotions. BUUT their emotions are taking up so much space.“
- Work: Deadlines, feeling like you’re falling short, being the one to take time off when the kids get sick or don’t have school or sacrificing career goals for the good of the family.
What to expect
The entire course is built around two areas
The Within
This is the individual work that each partner will explore to better understand the mental load and behaviors and thoughts that may be sabotaging a more equitable relationship.
The Between
This is the couple work that will dig into how the inequity of the mental load can trickle into other aspects of the relationship and what to do about it and practical and effective ways to renegotiate responsibilities.
Here's what you'll learn
AN OVERVIEW OF THE MENTAL LOAD.
You will learn about the mental load and how to talk about it with your partner. The course outline will be explained.
THE MENTAL LOAD MAY BE THE CAUSE OF YOUR REOCCURRING RELATIONSHIP ISSUES.
In this session, you will learn about how inequity in the mental load will trickle into other areas of your relationship. You will be provided with a dynamic research-based model that will help you and your partner to visualize the mental load's impact on your relationship so that you can reconnect and make adjustments in a targeted and efficient manner.
WHY HIS EFFORTS MIGHT BE UNDERMINED BY YOUR ATTITUDE. OR WHY HIS ATTITUDE IS UNDERMINING YOUR EFFORTS!
In this session, you will dig into expectations and impossible standards that may be sabotaging lessening the mental load.
THE HANDOFF
This session takes you into the heart of the practical ways to lessen your mental load and experience more fairness and harmony in your relationship.
ADDITIONAL WAYS TO SUPPORT THE PARTNER WHO CARRIES THE MENTAL LOAD.
You will learn additional and practical ways to support the partner who carries the bulk of the mental load.
Hi, I'm Dr. Morgan Cutlip
I am a wife, a mom, a PhD in Psychology and an advocate and life-long lover of all things relationships. My work centers around creative content development for Good Dating Book as well as research on the Dating Book programs. I have a particular passion for helping my generation of Millennials find love, happiness, and longevity in their relationships and helping moms love their kids without losing themselves. Some other things about me: I have conducted several studies on the Dating Book programs as well as research on the high divorce rate of female soldiers. I have been a keynote speaker on topics such as: motherhood and identity, self-care, millennial relationships, millennial parents, and advancements in relationship education. I have freelanced at Verily Magazine, appeared on Marriage Uncensored, and was a featured expert for Teen Vogue. Follow along with her @MyLoveThinks for practical relationship tips.
